An Audience with The Pope, Part 2

Last time, in An Audience with The Pope Part 1, I was describing what I needed to do to celebrate Easter Pontifical Mass at the Vatican. It's not rocket science, but it's also not the easiest thing in the world. Once I got myself all squared away and got my special ticket I was ready for my audience with The Pope.


To say an audience with The Pope is a religious experience is probably the most cliche thing a man can write, but there is no other way to describe it. One other time in my life before this had I truly felt consumed by the presence of God while in church. Suffice it to say that was a long time ago and was like a lightning bolt of God's power. Easter Mass at the Vatican was like floating in a warm sea of God's love -- with about 250,000 of your closest friends. The fact is, I could wax poetic about it for days. The brass tax is that The Lord was there (like always) and it is most likely one of the most humbling experiences of my entire life and I can't wait to do it again.

I woke up early Sunday and headed to the metro. I was staying a few stops from the best metro station to use to visit The Vatican. I arrived at the last street before entering St. Peter's square about 07:15 -- I was late. My ticket stated that Mass started at 10:15, I thought getting there at 07:15 would be plenty of time. I was mostly right, yet still discouraged as thousands of people like me filled the street and the Italian military, Rome police and Vatican police were out in full force. I don't want to disclose anything that could be used for ill in the future, but let just say that security was TIGHT coming a little over a week after a major terrorist attack in Europe. If you're a Muslim terrorist and you want to make a statement, Easter Mass at The Vatican must look like the juiciest fruit of them all.

I was impressed that I was able to get through security and find a seat, yes I actually got a seat, in about two hours. For some reason there were people pushing and shoving and running to make sure they had seats. I was a touch judgmental, but it's church there is no need to throw elbows so that you can secure a seat to be humble before God. I thought to myself, "good job. Now, all you and about 40,000 Philippinos have to do is wait for an hour." Again, I was wrong.

Nigh on 09:30 an announcement came over the loudspeakers stating that before celebrating Mass we were invited to join in the praying of The Rosary. So, pro tip: Easter Mass at The Vatican starts at 10:15 praying The Rosary starts about 09:30. As we finished up our last Ave Maria -- it's The Vatican everything happens in Latin, the sound of distant drums could be heard. I wasn't sure what it was. I had to look to my closest jumbotron to be sure. Yes, The Vatican in its infinite wisdom has installed several jumbotrons in St. Peter's Square. It was a brilliant idea from the guys I had to send a fax to just so I could be there.


Turns out there was a parade. Ceremonial units from a surprising number of countries were involved. I think the guys above are French but I can't be too sure. There were no American units represented. I doubt there are any ceremonial units big enough for this in Europe and I'm reasonably certain that The Vatican doesn't want the First Cavalry Division showing up to their infantry parade on their well trained steeds. Oh that would be a sight to behold. The savvy among you might notice that these soldiers are leaving St. Peter's Square. I was already in my seat and nowhere near the parade when they came in. Fortunately for me, the parade had to leave too.


I'm pretty sure these guys are Italian. You can tell because their uniforms and beards look awesome. I mean, I am a heterosexual male but these guys look good. Sadly, their weapons look like shit. I've read a lot and everything I have read tells me that the Italian military looks great and that is about it. Still, with the level of personnel deployed to Rome they can certainly take a serious posture.

So we celebrated Mass. It was nothing short of amazing. It was so silent and reverent that I didn't have a clue how many people were there until I turned around after the service was over. The weather was perfect. The sun was shining, pigeons even stayed away. Everyone in attendance was serious even this guy:


He has something to say, but The Vatican police were not super thrilled that he climbed a light pole to make his statement. Also, this photo doesn't really begin to show how many people were in attendance. Look at the very first photo here, the one that shows the road to Castel St. Angelo and imagine that road, as well as St. Peter's Square, almost completely packed with people for at least 3/4 of it's length. You never would have known it if you never turned around.


After Mass there was a break. You aren't going to leave after Mass. This isn't normal church Father Francis isn't going to greet you at the door, thank you for coming and call you Kevin. Do I look like a Kevin? Anyway. After this pause The Pope drives around the square in the Popemobile, maybe this is His Holiness' version of greeting people at the door. Everyone was ecstatic. Again, I got very lucky with my placement.


Any working photojournalist worth his salt should be able to come away with a photo like this, even on his worst day. I was at church for heaven's sake. So I'm just throwing it out there that I still got it. I could probably be an intern for someone. Once the Popemobile parade was over it was time for Urbi et Orbi. It was in Spanish and pretty hard to hear. It was also a touch difficult to see because the Polish contingent was off the chain now that Mass was over.


I think the Poles are my favorite Catholics. They are proud of it and had a few decades of restrictions about it so they have earned a little flag waving at The Vatican. I've also been in Poland on a Sunday and seen what some of the girls there wear to Mass, yikes. People were also standing on chairs at this point to get a better vantage.


I was cool with it. I'm cool with everything after celebrating Mass. It is a very calming experience for me. So I sat back, listened and has my items blessed. It's not hard you just have them out when His Holiness does his business. Afterward I really just wanted to leave. I don't like crowds and once the reverence was over this tremendous crowd started to trip my intolerance.

As I made my way back to the subway I saw a small, fluid gathering randomly careening down the street. I felt strangely drawn to it, which is not normal for me. I was like a moth to a flame. People who know me know I am not now, nor have I ever been a follower of a crowd. This was different and what I came upon was quite amazing.


His Eminence Salvatore De Giorgi was just wandering the street blessing people. I moved around to see what exactly what was going on and all of a sudden I was face to face with this man, who is basically a close second to The Pope when it comes to importance and holiness in the Catholic Church. He seemed kind, I seemed stunned. After eye contact that felt like eternity and His Eminence actually receiving a few babies and blessing them I did the only reasonable thing and kissed his ring while he bestowed a blessing upon me. As far a spiritual mornings go there aren't really a lot of places to go from here.

I think I went looking for some cappuccino and caperese after this, both of which are completely amazing in Italy. Every time I thought the caperese couldn't get any better it did, seriously it was bordering on ludicrous. The next day I was back at The Vatican to ascend the dome and see the grottoes.


If you go the The Vatican, pay the 6 EUR and ascend the dome. It is completely worth it. For an extra 2 EUR you can take an elevator most of the way. You can see from the photo above that it is truly impressive, then consider that it isn't just painted. Every bit of it is mosaic work.


Every single bit of the nave ceilings in St. Peter's Basilica are mosaicked. It is mind boggling the amount of time and effort that goes into creating something like this on this scale. This isn't some bathroom in a nice house. This is the ceiling of the largest church in the world, or what used to be.


And it isn't just that a bunch of artisans had a lot of stones and various buckets of paint where they just made what they needed ad hoc. It really does look like all the pieces were painted before hand. I am sure that there was some ad hoc work, sure but the scale of this is impressive. There is a reason that churches in Europe take centuries to build. One of those reasons is restrictive labor codes. The other is that the work is meticulous. It's for the glory of God after all, don't skimp and if you can employ a few generations while your at it more power to you.


Recently I was in a church in Spain that only took 60 years to build while the cathedral next door took something like 300 years to build. Crazy stuff, although the National Cathedral in Washington D.C. took a fair amount of time to construct.


The view from the dome of St. Peter's Basilica is breathtaking, even on cloudy days. If you're claustrophobic you need to man up though. There are some very narrow stair cases as you climb to the top.


I was unfortunate enough to get stuck with a group from a French middle school. Maybe it was high school, either way they were French and they were kids which means they were all acting a special kind of fool. Other than that the climb to the top was pretty easy and very interesting. It was, of course, crowded at the top. I was there before 13:00 so I'm sure it could have been much much worse.


This is a view of some of the grounds of The Vatican from the dome. I wish I could tell you more about what you can see, but I can't. The Vatican does have it's own train station though.


There is a closer look at the train station. I have no clue who comes or goes via train, but it's there. I found this to be moderately intersting. There is other stuff to see up on the roof and there is also a gift shop, but there are like 5 gift shops at The Vatican. Don't let the fact that there are a lot of gift shops freak you out, the prices are actually pretty reasonable. They are also staffed by the nicest nuns on the planet.


I spend a lot of time up on the roof and saw some interesting things. There was an exceedingly amorous couple completely ignorant of the signs informing visitors that the roof of the church was, in fact, just as sacred as the nave beneath and there was the second of two "groups" of Czechs I encountered the whole time i was in Italy. The first group of Czech was the father-daughter couple I was behind while waiting to get in to Easter Mass. I was going to say hi until dad started talking trash about America pretty hardcore.


Honestly, my hope here is that I can help someone who wants to attend Mass with His Holiness. It's not very difficult, but not super easy either. For all the ills in the history of The Church there is still a reason so many believe and it's bigger than places like St. Peter's Basilica. There is a reason The Catholic Church is one of the oldest institutions on Earth and you really can feel all of that at The Vatican and I didn't even make it to the Sistine Chapel.

Next time is Venice, so stay tuned for that.

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An Audience with The Pope, Part 1

Along about December I decided that perhaps an audience with The Pope might be a good idea. That is what this journey has all been about. Florence, Milan, Rome and soon to be Venice, are all just bonus distractions when compared to an audience with The Pope. What do you need to do if you want to attend Papal Mass? Well, sit tight and I'll tell you.

To say an audience with The Pope is a big deal is a bit of an understatement. This first post will be short and more about what needs to happen before you can attend Pontifical Mass. Part two will have more about the Mass itself and what happens on Easter Sunday.

When we parted last I showed you a view of St. Peter's Basilica from Castle Sant Angelo, so that hero/lead image is what I'll call turnabout.
So, what is the most important thing to consider if you want an audience with The Pope? Planning, pure and simple it's not something you can do on a whim. You can celebrate Mass at the Vatican anytime. The delightful Swiss Guards will give you a ticket, all you need to do is ask. Oh, yeah you'll need a ticket if you want to attend Mass at The Vatican.  Papal Mass, you'll need to ask in advance.

Somewhere at The Vatican there is a room with a fax machine that I imagine beeps and squeals incessantly all day and night with an army, most likely three, of priests tending to it. This isn't an "Old Man Zollinger" type fax machine attendance, this is important stuff. If you know me, ask me about "Old Man Zollinger" some time, if you knew him, you're laughing right now. This is the first step on your journey to an audience with The Pope.

Click here and you'll go to a page that has links to the PDF form you will need to complete and fax to The Vatican. I know what you're thinking: "A Fax? What is this 1993? There isn't an easier way?" Look, The Vatican is one of the oldest institutions on the planet it didn't get that way by adopting every new-fangled technofad that comes along and honestly, if you can find a way to send a fax these days you have passed the first test. It took me three days to figure it out, and I used a special internet to fax service and had to pray that it worked. It did.


Most other days all you need to do to celebrate Mass at The Vatican is ask the nice Swiss Guards. Don't let the clown suits fool you, these guys look like they are ready to rock and roll at the drop of a beret. They are always in pairs and one talks with people while the other keeps his finger on the halberd. The guy in the photo above on the left was very helpful to me personally. All the Swiss Guards as super polite, mega patient and speak Italian, German and English at least. Most of the Swiss I've met speak German (yes Swiss German is odd) English, French, Italian and that funky Latin language that somehow got lost in the mountains. Look, if you're not willing to pick a side in a war logic states that you wouldn't favor a language.


You go right ahead and tell this nice young man that he is wearing funny-looking pants. I dare you. It's cool, I'll wait and take photos.

Okay, so you've faxed your stuff to The Vatican. After that a priest will send you a letter. Yes, it's typed but it is hand signed -- maybe autopened. Mine arrived surprisingly quickly. The letter will tell you if you have been approved to get a ticket to Papal Mass. There is no ticket, you must go see the Swiss Guards for that. There will however, be a number for your ticket. I'm pretty sure that number is all you need, but I carted that letter with me to Rome as if it were a stone delivered to me by Moses himself. Lord, thy burning bush, it scorches thine ears with its facsimiled squeal.


My fast train from Florence rolled into the station in Rome around 15:30 on Good Friday. From there it was a mad dash for me to make it to The Vatican to collect my special ticket before the place closed. Oh yeah, I needed to drop off my bags first. At the La Salleian school turned hotel across town. If you're going to Easter Mass at The Vatican you might as well book monk's quarters right?

I made it to St. Peter's Square with and hour to spare. I had no intention of that alliteration, but since it's there I won't pull out my hair. Right. So I booked it to the information center and the man there had no clue where I could get my ticket. He told me to ask the Swiss Guards, who I was having trouble finding. So I asked a few police, who don't really speak anything other than Italian. Finally, I made it to the nice guard you see above handing out tickets. He directed me to il Portone di bronzo of the Apostolic Palace. It took a little for searching, but I found it.

I had to go through Vatican Security to get to il Portone di bronzo and thankfully it was pretty empty since the place was closing soon. There is a magical thing that happens after you pass security: more guards protect the path to the Bronze Door I needed to get to. They moved to block me as I walked up. I looked at them, showed them my tattered envelope from the Holy See and said, "el Porto del Bronzo" in Italian butchered like a field-dressed swine and the guards parted like I was His Holiness himself -- not really. There were no more questions, no nothing. I went from threat to pilgrim in an instant.

I walked up to the the Swiss Guards at the Portone di bronzo and one came to me while the other clenched his Halberd a bit tighter. I explained that I was here to pick up my ticket for an Audience with the Pope. Actually, I rolled up and said "vie gehets" because I'm a dipshit like that and the guard was actually a little taken aback but he took it like a pro and responded with "gut." He then took my letter and disappeared. I was a bit nervous. I had been waiting for this rushed moment for about four months, what happens if they change their minds? They didn't, he returned with my ticket for Mass on  Sunday, March 27 with "Father Francis" and I exhaled a sigh of relief. Now all that was left for me to do was eat amazing food and ramble around Rome for a day.


So ramble I did. I went straight back the The Vatican in the morning to see St. Peter's Basilica. I passed through La Porta Sancta and marveled in God's glory from the floor of what was once the largest church in the world. There are no words, no photos, no expressions to describe this. The only thing I can tell you is that you should see it before 13:00. For some reason around 13:00 the place gets packed with tourists to the point where you can barely move. This is like many of the attractions in Rome.

I hit up the gift shop and bought a few items to have blessed by His Holiness after Sunday Mass during Urbi et Orbi. I'm selfish so I bought a few things for myself and then bought a medallion to send to my best friend's daughter as a gift for her baptism. That kind of thing is a big deal, it's a shame most never remember it. After all that it was off to get kind of away from the masses of tourists and wander around for a while. I had hoped to ascend the dome of the Basilica but it was closed until Monday for religious reasons. Next time: Sunday and I'll only wait a week to put it up.

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